Surviving Singlish

You’ve just got to love how organized society is here. There’s an initiative for everything, accompanied by big posters on the buses and in the MRT stations. Does any of it actually work? Well, when you combine the "Speak Mandarin" campaign with the "Speak Good English" campaign, here’s what you get...

First of all, there are Chinese words and non-words creeping into all parts of the conversation hor. Speak straight English also cannot do, what. And don’t forget the accent. At lunch, stand in front of the hawker auntie looking very blur when she ask me question. What? What? Oh... "eat in or take-away?" I so pai seh, very embarrassed!

Aiyah, too much, cannot tahan any more. Been here six months liao, still blur. Each time get in a taxi, very kan cheong. What if taxi driver dun understand, drive drive never reach?

Take MRT no better lah. The queues! Everyone so kiasu, always standing right in front of the MRT door. You want to grab the sole remaining seat, is it? Never mind, just stand lor.

Lah, ah, lor, hor, leh, meh. Wah, who can keep them straight?

But I very on the ball one, now understand Singlish ooooso caaan! Otherwise how to survive in Singapore ah?

The rest of us non-Singaporeans can decode this using The Coxford Singlish Dictionary.

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